The Art of Leaving

When I wrote this I had recently broken up with someone I knew but a short while, though still cared deeply about.

The Art of Leaving begins with intuition. It is not within my scope to move into this intimate and profound topic here, but luckily I don't need to. Some people wince or scoff at the idea of "intuition." When approached as a topic, they place it disdainfully within the mists of fictional lands, fearful to stay too long lest menacing dwarfs cast spells on them. To say these same people do not follow their intuition either consciously or unconsciously, however, would be a fat stack of baloney.

It has many names: Inner Wisdom, gut feeling, intuitive perception, Knowing, spirit, guiding truth, etc. Most people know it as "I have no idea why I did that, but I'm sure as hell glad I did." Or "what have I done? How did this happen?" when they didn't listen to the inner direction. This is where it all begins: with that voice, that feeling, that premonition. It gently speaks, opening a new path. "This is not it," it tells you. Then: terror, confusion, disbelief, denial, sadness. In essence, FEAR emerges. To the extent that we trust our intuition, our movement is swift and deliberate. We follow this voice and are at peace. When we are out of touch with it, our movement is heavy, awkward, cumbersome. So how do we move with the flow? Trust your intuition and explore your fears.

Relationships are beautiful expressions of the Union we seek as individuals. Relationship means Giving and Receiving. It is like your birthday everyday! or it is a battlefield if the relationship is imbalanced. When a relationship ends it is like experiencing a death. What will I receive now? To whom will I give? who will see me? What will happen to my supply? Fear. We are scared that the person we are with is the source of what we treasure in them. The unified part in us knows this not to be true. Love is infinite; it comes from infinite sources. Connection is ubiquitous. Intimacy is omnipresent.

The voice tells us to move on not to cut us off from these things, but to lead us to a greater supply - to open us to a deeper alignment. This really throws the ego off. We are either dumbfounded because we truly love and value the other person, or we are so in denial that we must demonize them in order to let go. Without trust, leaving becomes an impossible feat.

The art of leaving is not about measurements, it is not about deficiencies or imperfections in the other person. It is about expansion. The person I broke up with was a phenomenal human being. He was authentic, carried a deep respect for those around him, was mature, self-reflective and aware. The breakup had nothing to do with him and everything to do with how I fit into the equation of "us." there is nothing to be said of why I no longer wanted to pursue a deepening of our relationship except that the Inner Sense directed me towards a different path. The ego cannot comprehend this. "If the other is perfect, why is it over?" it asks. The question should be, "if it is over, what will come next?" The answer is: something more profound, more intimate, more beautiful. Trust this. It can only be but so. It is evolution.

So what does it take? Listening. Trusting. Affirming a higher good. Begone with the cynicism, fear and dispair! Rejoice in what is to come. Of course there is a process of mourning, but look into this deeper. I found that my mourning was rooted in a deep gratitude. Gratitude to have had this person in my life, to have shared, to have learned, to have loved. Often, the grief and sadness that we feel are partially rooted in cynicism, hopelessness and a distrust for the perfect unfolding of the future. It comes from a belief that there is not more beauty and love to come. It is your choice which to believe.

The Art of Leaving is truly a celebration. A celebration of what was and of what is to be.

Let it flow, just let go.
Trust. Fall. Fly.

If you need more encouragement, just look to Toni Braxton:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nWGDY_ND70