An Explanation

Who? Me, Kayleigh
What? I'm going on a trip
Where? To India! Vrindavan to be specific
When? September 29th, 2009
Why? To develop my spiritual consciousness, of course
How? I became a vagabond on August 1st, as the day before was the day I completed the Bill Emerson National Hunger Fellowship (http://www.hungercenter.org/national/fellowsprofiles.htm if you still have no idea what this is). I feel immensely privileged to have participated in the program and couldn't have imagined doing anything else with my year. It was certainly the icing on the cake - the cake being my 4 year education at Northwestern.

At NU my quest was to understand the process of suffering and violence in our world. Answers abounded. The most concise explanation can be given in list form: colonialism, sexism, racism, classism, heterosexism, ethnocentrism, agism, global neoliberal capitalism, consumerism, linear thinking, etc. I was fascinated with learning how these process came to be, how they had been used, what their consequences have been. The question of what people are doing in response to these terrors was less readily available. Though I had had a little bit of experience in grassroots organizing during school, and had spent some of the year studying social change, the fellowship was the opportunity to work first hand in the anti-hunger and anti-poverty movement (with a national focus), to participate in the response to social inequality.

During the fellowship I built on what I learned, strengthening and developing my understanding of, in layman's terms, this big shithole of a world we've made.* The year was challenging in many ways and also had rays of light that would shine on me, filling me with hope. I got to meet and learn from people doing phenomenal work - anti-oppression, land sovereignty, localization, grassroots empowerment, real democracy. "Think global, act local" meant everything.

Despite finally internalizing this message, I still couldn't place myself within its wisdom. I could think of a number of ways to get engaged, but none of them were satisfying. I still hadn't figured out a way to place myself into the equation. So on August 1st I was thrown into the ocean of uncertainty, like many young adults, flailing my arms about, hoping to find an island to rest on. Fortunately for me, I had the opportunity to reframe the situation. I don't want to just randomly float from island to island; I don't even want to intentionally jump from island to island; I want to learn how to swim.**

I realized that I need to take time to learn the things that I have always been drawn to, but that I never spent much time exploring. These things are related to what energized me during the fellowship, the idea of justice (social/environmental/political), but that go beyond this one concept (and beyond demands that are usually made for material comforts alone). They are also things that I will need in my life if I am to contribute to something meaningful and just and, for now, can also be given in list form: trust, acceptance, mercy, faith, surrender, non-attachment, LOVE, etc.

The path from there (Kayleigh before purchasing a one way ticket to India) to here (Kayleigh after purchasing a one way ticket to India) is much more detailed than this explanation and I realize I have not even discussed what my plans for India are, but this will certainly do for now. I am grateful for all of the support I've been given surrounding this new adventure and I can only hope that I'll be able to communicate whatever it is that I learn in a meaningful way.


*don't get me wrong, America is great. I can vote, drive, buy ice-cream whenever I want, my parents own a home, I went to school, there's tons of cheap crap to buy, sexual liberation, MTV!, in essence I am free to do whatever I want. I do, however, think that war, economic inequality, violence against women, communities of color and LGBTQ communities, environmental degradation, global warming, hunger, and genocide overshadow some of the privileges I have. Plus, if we're sticking to the wisdom of our great western economists, then there is no such thing as a free lunch. If the privilege I have comes at the costs of others' welfare, then thanks but no thanks.

**To clarify, ain't nothin' wrong with hanging out on an island, especially if there are piña coladas available. I just didn't have a beach towel handy, and I hate to get all sandy, so I figured I'd try something else. Plus this metaphor will be invaluable if I am ever to explain the material and spiritual worlds, which I am newly learning about.